September 2012
1 post
23 tags
Shia LaDouche Naked. DMX Wants To Fight Drake.
As many of you may of heard by now Shia Labeouf has a new movie out called Lawless, an upcoming movie coming out called Nymphomania, and has stated he will never do big budget movies ever again. Only art house films for this fucker.
Okay.
First off, I can almost guarantee Lawless is garbage. Tom Hardy dies at the end, Shia does not. Spoiled it? Oops. I didn’t see it. I just read it on...
August 2012
1 post
13 tags
The Overwhelming Feelings I Feel For Lana Del Rey
I have 7 celebrity crushes, total. These 7 celebrities make my life better. I love them. They do not know I exist. I imagine this is how nerdy guys in 90’s teen comedies feel when the popular girl in school doesn’t like them. I feel like I’m standing at my locker with a fucking brace around my neck, watching this girl get tossed around like they’re nothing and wondering why...
July 2012
3 posts
14 tags
Rating All The Batman's, Bruce Wayne's, Joker's,...
So, since the release of the epic Dark Knight Rises, I felt compelled to make a list of all the Batman movies, Joker performances, and other random bullshit, from worst to best. So without further ADIEU, Legggggo. Oh, and as a side note, I do not like the Adam West movies. That will NOT be mentioned anywhere in this list.
Last Place Batman Movie Goes To:
Batman and Robin!!1
Congrats guys,...
12 tags
The Dark Knight Rises Complaints
Let me start of by saying this movie was BICEPS OF HADES approved, loved it despite its obvious flaws. This was a perfect finale and I don’t think there was a better way they could have sent Batman off. After the movie I told myself I was gonna go rock climbing, get into shape, become Berea’s reckoning…instead I’m watching How I Met Your Mother and bitching about a great...
19 tags
The Saga of Joe Paterno
What’s up everyone? Between Fantasy Football and ruling the underworld, and working out by catching lightning bolts in my hand, I don’t have much time to update this shit as much as I’d like, but today is a special ocassion.
Unless you live in a pineapple under the sea, you may have heard about the Freeh Report? What is that you ask? Basically it is the judge confirming what a...
June 2012
9 posts
10 tags
CHRIS BROWN DISSED DRAKE - LYRICS HERE
Chris Brown dissed Drake, don’t ask me how, but I got the lyrics to this monstrosity. Be prepared, Breezy goes in.
Verse 1:
Yeah ni**a, It’s Breezy, ya’ll done saw what I did to Rhi Rhi
I’m finna arrange yo face, spread yo legs ni**a, I’ll tell you how it taste
Yo eyebrows are so big, they look like caterpillars I stand up all my bitches, kinda like some...
9 tags
"Believe" Justin Bieber Review.
Justin Bieber releases his third album, Believe, today. I went and copped this, ya know whatever, I like to give every artist a chance. It’s no secret I hate Bieber and the pollen he spreads into tween girls. But I’m trying my hardest to set my biases aside and give an honest review of this album.
God I hate this fuck boy.
1. All Around The World (Ft. Ludacris)
Son pollinates...
8 tags
Drake Vs. Chris Brown
So the other day, I left the dark underworld to go to my favorite club in New York. I was lounging on the couch, being fanned with leaves and shit, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Drake walk in.
I was just like, “Alright, whatever.” I wasn’t about to slap Aubrey outta the club. Hades is here for a good time, no need to be starting shit.
So the party goes on, Drake is...
8 tags
Boston Celtics.
This is the one time I have ever felt somber about sports. I ‘ve had my heart broken before by a sports team, but never like this. In a fixed series, that’s all about making up for the money lost during the lockout, Boston lost against Miami; those pieces of fucking shit with that shit eating “coach” and that mother fucking asshole Lebron James. Fuck Miami.
Go OKC.
...
10 tags
Sorry I Haven't Posted In A While.
So the other day I was doing my usual workout routine in the forest. I was lifting trees, wrestling oxen, climbing giraffes and knocking elephants down with my shoulders, trying to stay in top physique for the summer time.
After I finished my workout routine, I planned to go back home…when I ran into a STRAIGHT EDGE centaur. I had never seen such an ugly creature.
I tried to move...
8 tags
Snow White and the Huntsman Review.
After a painfully long 2 hours, I finished Snow White and the Huntsman, starring Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, and Charlize Theron.
I went into this movie with an open mind, I put aside my hate for Kristen Stewart, so here goes my unbiased review.
First off, fuck this movie. Seriously. I hate Kristen Stewart. Thankfully, the creators of this boring ass movie gave her about 50 lines of...
7 tags
Why I'm Not Excited For The Amazing Spider-Man.
It’s no secret that I love Spider-Man. I really do. I own all the comics, movies, t-shirts, video games, hell even my MacBook is Spider-Man themed. So, shouldn’t I be stoked about the new movie coming out on my birthday? I SHOULD be, but I’m not.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan of Andrew Garfield, I love Emma Stone, Dennis Leary is always wonderful, Martin Sheen is the...
Safe House Review.
FINALLY. This is the Ryan Reynolds the world has been waiting to see. We know he can play funny, that much is evident, but he has had the worst struggle becoming a dramatic actor. He had his chance in Definitely, Maybe, but that didn’t really work out for him.
In this film, he plays a vulnerable CIA agent, Matt Weston, who watches a Safe House. Whenever the CIA brings in the world’s...
5 Rappers You Need To Be Listening To.
Tired of listening to wanna be hard rappers (Drizzzzy, Wayne) or annoying rappers trying to be like Madonna and Lady Gaga (Nicki Minaj) or maybe just shitty rappers in general (anyone I don’t like and Mac Miller) well, lucky for you, I’m here to tell you 5 rappers you need to be listening to. They won’t turn you into a tampon and they won’t inspire everyone to be a wanna be...
May 2012
19 posts
Movie of the Day.
Sleepy Hollow.
Johnny Depp talks in his british accent as always, even though he is from Owensboro, KY. (859 STAND UP) and Christina Ricci, as usual, plays a supporting role that nobody will remember her name in.
Also, Count Dooku and Dumbledore get a good 2 minutes of screen time. CHECK IT OUT.
Final Score: 7/10
This movie is Hipsta Huntah approved.
Follow me on Instagram.
Tyler the Creator and Frank Ocean VS Chris Brown
This is why Tyler and Frank need to get out of Odd Future.
Check out the Twitter beef between Tyler, Frank and Young Ike Turner himself.
Will Tyler the Creator Sell Out?
Let’s hope not. After that Yonkers song and a mediocre Goblin album, Tyler hit the pinnacle of his career. He won a VMA, his music videos received millions of views, and even Eminem said he like Tyler.
So what is next? How much longer can Tyler keep from going mainstream? But then again, how many more times can he release the same album? Let’s face it, Bastard and Goblin sounded the...
Shia LaDouche.
Let this be known that I absolutely despise Shia LaBeouf. I liked him all the way up to Disturbia, and after that he had a special reservation in hell. I don’t know what triggered my hate for Shia, maybe it was Transformers, or Wall Street 2, or maybe even his role in New York, I love you. Who knows? All I know is, dude is softer than a wounded unicorn being sung back to life by Drizzzzzy.
...
7 tags
Men In Black 3 Review.
WOW. That is all I really have to say about this film, WOW. I have waited 10 years for this movie to come out, and I was blown away. I’m going out on a limb here and I’m gonna say this movie surpassed the first one, which is a rarity. This movie was flat out amazing.
The story: Boris The Animal (JUST BORIS NOW) escapes from a maximum security prison on the moon and comes back to...
10 tags
I Hate Hipsters.
How ironic is that? A hipster kid who hates hipsters. It’s true. They suck. They REALLY suck. I wouldn’t want to chill with me in a million years.
I stayed up late last night pondering this idea. How could I hate someone that is just like me? Simple: I’m a mega asshole. If you ever read my Myspace bulletins or my tweets, there is nothing but social critiques and me rubbing my...
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter.
I read this book two years ago and I COULD NOT be more excited about this movie. I would’ve chosen Liam Neeson for Abe Lincoln, but tomatoes tomatoes ya know?
Check out the NEW reband trailer. HELL YES.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtgi55Yz-rE
Why Guys Should Stop Quoting Drake.
Okay, everyone on the entire planet knows who Drake is. 5 years ago, I knew who Drake was (Aubrey Graham back then) because I loved that show Degrassi, and I loved his character, Jimmy Brooks. I remember listening to his first ever song, Replacement Girl and thinking “He sounds alright, probably won’t get big, but I like him”. Now, he is one of the biggest stars on Earth. Still...
The Great Gatsby Trailer Review
By now, most everybody has seen the preview for the Great Gatsby starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. I don’t know about you, but it looked OKAY. I’m not really sure how I feel about adding “Church In the Wild” as the main song in the trailer.
But the visuals and shit like that look pretty nice. The acting looked pretty spot in from Leo, and Carey Mulligan might...
Movie of the Day.
I Saw the Devil.
Good movie, it’s foreign, but if you can open your mind past Adam Sandler movies and the dreadfully awful Hunger Games, you will find a quality film. It isn’t scary, but it is very realistic and keeps you on the edge of your seat for the whole movie. Check it out. You won’t regret it. I think it’s on Netflix, so there you have it. No excuses.
4 tags
5 Worst Movie Endings of All Time.
Do you ever watch a movie, and it’s really good, really keeps you intrigued, and then the ending happens? Some movies have endings that make you thing, some have endings that make you cry, some endings are take you by surprise…and some endings ruin the goddamn movie. I think the best ending to a movie I have ever seen is Jakob The Liar…they hang Robin Williams in the end....
Movie of the Day.
Bedazzled. I’m too tired to explain this, but it stars Brendan Fraser (The Mummy) and Elizabeth Hurley. Don’t expect to see a groundbreaking movie, or even a good movie. It’s mindless entertainment for an hour and a half, so I recommend it.
So I Was Thinking...
You ever see a hot girl on Facebook and wanna like her picture or give her an IM and be like “Hey, saw you in my news feed and thought I’d say hey”. “Hey, Do I know you?” “That’s so funny.” *wait 5 seconds* “Oh shit, my bad. Meant to send that to someone else, what’s up?”
It’s creepy as hell, but you know girls thrive off of...
Movie of the Day.
Beginners.
Beginners is the best movie I have watched all year. Ewan McGregor, Christopher Plummer, and Melanie Laurent (Inglorious Bastards) all turn in great performances. At one point in the film, I wanna sob. At another point, I’m laughing pretty hard. If you’re in love, meeting someone new, losing a parent, or going through a break up, this movie is for you.
What Happened To 50 Cent, Ja Rule, Chingy, G-Unit,...
Remember the days of gritting your teeth and going “G-G-G-G-UNIT”? Or what about being at those skanky middle school dance and all the girls would grind their butts on the floor and go “Whatcha doinnn? Nuttin. Chillin’. At da Holidae Innnnnnn”. Or maybe you even remember being 12 years old and asking a “shorty” if it “was her birthday” and then...
My Advice For Robert Pattinson.
Anyone who knows me knows my top favorite actors are Mark Wahlberg and Robert Pattinson. In my eyes, they can do no wrong…except for Twilight. Twilight is a terrible franchise, written by terrible people, and starring terrible actors (Excluding Pattinson).
What happened with Robert is he associated himself with a character, much like Elijah Wood, Mark Hamill, Daniel Radcliffe, etc., which...
Why I Hate Twitter.
Twitter, the fastest growing social networking site since the good days of MySpace. Who doesn’t have a Twitter? Since Facebook is dying a slow and painful death, the masses need a site where they can tell me what the fuck they’re doing, how much fun they’re having, and all their stupid inside jokes they have with other people while wasting my valuable reading time. I remember...
Movie of the Day.
Blue Valentine.
Prepare to cry your eyes out. Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams. WATCH IT NOW.
10 Actors/Actresses I Hate.
Somebody told me I should review movies. I told them to shut the hell up and not tell me what to do. So then I got a beautiful idea, I should review movies. But then I thought to myself, that’s stupid. Nobody cares what I think about movies. They care what Roger Ebert thinks.
In the midst of this personal battle I told myself to “do me”. So, I came up with the idea of giving my opinions on...