How ironic is that? A hipster kid who hates hipsters. It’s true. They suck. They REALLY suck. I wouldn’t want to chill with me in a million years.
I stayed up late last night pondering this idea. How could I hate someone that is just like me? Simple: I’m a mega asshole. If you ever read my Myspace bulletins or my tweets, there is nothing but social critiques and me rubbing my unwanted opinions in everyone’s face. Who the fuck wants to chill with someone like that? I don’t know. Hipsters are BEGGING mother fuckers for attention “Look at me, look at how I’m so unlike you.” And then they like to live poor and buy their shit from Goodwill and then be rocking a MacBook.
Goddammit I hate myself.
But what is worse than a douche munching hipster? A WANNABE Hipster. I used to date this girl that:
1. Followed @HipsterProblems
2. Went to the tanning bed every day
3. Pretended to be a democrat and acted like she knew what the fuck I was talking about.
4. Didn’t like STAR WARS.
5. Was all about being the most popular person around
6. Only liked country music and Drizzzzzy
7. Wore high fashion clothes.
THAT IS NOT WHAT HIPSTER-ISM IS. Being a hipster is pretty much being an asshole who hates what everyone likes. And then you have to complain about labels and society and write poetry. I embrace the hipster label, I love writing short stories, and I am all about believing your opinions are inferior to mine. Don’t insult me by trying to be like that when clearly you aren’t.
Yes, I hate hipsters. I hate wannabe hipsters. Basically, be you and don’t try to be something you aren’t. If you’re a hipster, I’ll probably never chill with you. If you’re a wannabe hipster, still won’t chill with you. And if you are a man that tweets emotional tweets or wants to talk about “feelings” I DEFINITELY won’t chill with you.